In this guest post Hayley McDonnell of justhygge.co.uk explains how following the Just Hygge way of life can support our own, and our whole family's, wellbeing. She share how we can prepare for parenting in this way and how we can implement it as parents.

Just hygge tips for new mums and dads

If you’re soon to become a first-time parent, a huge “congratulations!”. An occasion as significant as this can encourage a whirlwind of emotions, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and anxious as well as excited and proud. With some simple preparation and thought before hand the overt feelings of serenity and calm will be present so much more.

Let's start with a brief introduction to Hygge. The concept of Hygge (pronounced Hoo-ga) is synonymous with a feeling of cosiness and comfort. In real life, I understand Hygge as a philosophy that means you live your life with intention, ease and flow. I refer to this as Just Hygge. Hygge is a concept that you can adopt for your own life and lifestyle and incorporate in a way that suits you and in all decisions you make. Simply put I look for opportunities for peace and serenity in my life whilst maintaining a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. This does not mean complacency it means consciously choosing to live an intentional life without external pressures.

The Just Hygge philosophy is for everyone and because the features of ease and flow coupled with peace and serenity are needed at all points in our life and I believe new parenting is absolutely one of those times. In contrast to other life experiences, we can rely on frame of reference to help prepare and navigate moving forward whereas becoming a parent for the first time this luxury is not available.

Under the guise of offering advice there is plenty out there, medical advisors, friends, neighbours, close family members and distant relatives too. Websites, podcasts magazines and local parent groups can be a source of information too and not always welcomed. These words are especially chosen for you to select what works for you and find the contentment and pleasure of becoming a parent for the first time.

A Just Hygge guide to preparing for a new arrival

The focus is on creating a safe space for time together as a family and for sleep times.  Create spaces which are comfortable for sitting, gathering and just being present.  The ‘me’ time is now shifted to ‘we’ time and this sense of togetherness is part of the Just Hygge lifestyle. It also allows you to be present in the moment, with your newborn and those who are important to you right now.   You may choose to do some de-cluttering which in turn will give you both physical and mental space.

Soft lighting will develop the feelings of ease and flow and create a sense of peace and serenity in your home. Buy some light bulbs with a lower wattage, consider battery powered fairy lights and tea-lights.

Comfortable clothes that are both easy to wear and wash will mean you can spend more time with your baby than doing laundry. An extension of your maternity wear is an option. Choose clothes that you will feel happy to wear.

Warm blankets to act as a layer and make your space look and feel cozy can be made available. Try out different textures that are soft and soothing and buy them before the baby arrives.

Comfort food that tastes good and is good for health can be prepared in advance and then quickly and easily made available at the right time. Decide now what you would like to eat and take some time to pre-prepare.

A warm drink is a little but of luxury and is Just Hygge too. Invest in a cup with a lid that keeps drinks warm longer.

Prepare the time before the baby arrives by cutting back or detoxing from technology. With your hands soon to be  full cuddling your newborn today is the perfect time to start. Keep any unnecessary technology out of sight and allocate times of the day that are technology free. Not only is this good for your health, but it’s also a simple way to practice being present in the moment which is a huge feature of the Just Hygge lifestyle. If you find yourself reaching for your phone then re-frame the moment as time to breathe and be present in the moment.

These Just Hygge suggestions are related to self-care and as an investment in your mental health and well-being. Self-care can be as unique as you are and the phrase ‘self-care ‘often  conjures up images of rest and relaxation and may be difficult to relate to in the early stages of new parenting. The phrase reminds us of the need to look after ourselves emotionally, physically and possibly spiritually too.

The need aspect is vital as it marks a demarcation from the every day embracing of a new lifestyle as a parent.

“Hygge is about having less, enjoying more; the pleasure of simply being. It is generous and celebratory, a way to remember the importance of the simple act of living itself.”

– Louisa Thomsen Brits

The Book of Hygge: The Danish Art of Contentment, Comfort, and Connection

Self-care is not selfish and is synonymous with a Just Hygge lifestyle of ease and flow. Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as others. When you practice self-care you produce positive feelings, which boosts motivation and self-esteem leaving you with increased energy to support yourself as well as your loved ones. Self-care starts with tending to your own needs. Perhaps relate it to the flight – attendant safety talk on the plane when we are advised to put an oxygen face mask on ourselves first before helping others. Self-care is your version of that oxygen mask.

As a new parent, it may feel like your own wellbeing has taken inferiority over your baby’s, which can be a common occurrence. This is also a realistic expectation, this new baby relies on you, the parent to feed, clothe, protect, sooth and care in all aspects. It is true that  you’ve gone from having just yourself to look after to now having a whole other life that’s completely dependent on you.

To practice hygge during this exciting, staggering milestone, make sure you find  time to look after yourself. When your newborn is asleep or spending time with relatives, have a hot bubble bath, make a cup of tea, put on a fresh pyjama set, and snuggle up with your favourite book. Some days you won’t be able to do any of those things so just do what you can. If you buy a new cushion before your baby arrives you know at least you will be able to relax on that cushion whilst looking after your baby. That is an example of Just Hygge.

Help may be more freely available than what you would like, everyone has an opinion and most are relying on their own experiences and what worked for them. If you can do  ask for help and know that you’re not alone! Both asking for and offering help encourages feelings of cosiness and serenity, you need to reduce feelings of worry and tension, and asking for help can tip the scales in just hygge’s favour.

The help needed can come in all guises from simply time to have a shower, a nap, a little bit of tidying whatever suits you.  You may want more direct help and advice for example asking how to bathe your baby or soothe them if tired.  Offering and receiving help encourages the release of endorphins which in turn reduce stress.

Try not to reach for your phone too much.  As a new parent your responsibilities and duties have rapidly expanded, and what you want to focus on now has also rapidly changed.  If you have time to scroll you have time to breathe – use this precious time to breathe deeply. You may have practiced this before the baby arrives so you have the experience of what to do before baby arrives.

Adopting a Just Hygge lifestyle it is hoped that you will create  a happier, more soothing environment for you all as first-time parents. Reduced levels of stress, lowered depression and anxiety, increased optimism, and increased self-esteem are all positive benefits associated with practising hygge.